Learning to be Defeated

The other day we had dinner with the Torre (tower) contrada. Our teacher is from this contrada and it was fun and interesting to hear his perspectives. Torre is sworn enemies with the Goose contrada. He said that they used to spar and practice fighting, because when you know your enemies by studying them and their tactics, you know each other inside and out, well enough to fight effectively side by side when you need to join forces to expel an invading force. He also said, “Another benefit of having an enemy is when you win, you have someone to gloat over. The contrada that don't have enemies don't have as much to celebrate when they win.” :)

He also taught us a powerful lesson in a unique way:

About 53 years ago, the Tower contrada won, and they celebrated by plucking the feathers off of 43 live geese in the middle of the tower square (one for each of the years they had ever won). This was a serious breach of typical sportsmanship, and everyone was outraged. A priest in the city cursed them that they would not win for 43 straight years as penance for their rudeness. And you know what? They didn't.

I am not one to say curses can't happen, but it's also true that politics play as much a role in the winning of the palio race as luck and skill do. The winning team has to pay millions of dollars to make their winning probably. It is kind of like playing group solitaire on a table while you are all playing poker under the table simultaneously. The cards cross over from the invisible game to the visible, but no one is really able to pin down how or why except those involved.

He told us that one year during this cursed famine (which ended when Torre won in 2005) Goose won, and the lights were turned off and the windows closed in the Torre zone while the Goose celebrated on the other side of the town. He heard someone on the street talking loudly to God, saying, “Why? Why? I am 25 years old, I have never seen my contrada win? What's wrong with me?” His friends came out of their houses and calmed him down and comforted him, and brought him home. But it occurred to our teacher that we all ask ourselves and God that question in some way at some time in our lives. “Why me? Why now?” And the young man was fortunate to hear God's answer: his friends who came to remind him that he was part of a community and he was loved.

Then our teacher said, “The Palio teaches us how to be defeated. You young Americans don't learn this lesson very well. You are taught from a young age that if you try hard enough and do your best, you will always win. Everyone has to be winners and no one can lose. Well, that isn't true! Sometimes you do all you can, and you are defeated. But if you don't learn to be defeated and to try again anyway, then there is danger that the first time you are defeated will be the last.”

The Contrada is really REALLY felt here! Parents often don't let their newborns touch the ground until they can put their feet on the marble floor of the contrada church. They are baptized Catholic, and then they are baptized into the contrada. When you die, the people you expect to come greet you into the world of spirits are the deceased of your contrada from ages past. In fact, one family wrote to the city and asked to have their grandmother's tomb moved, because it was facing an enemy contrada member. The city obliged!! Pretty interesting stuff.

We started our internships this week. I walked into the hospital and followed the colorful 90's style directions to the 7^th floor to the dental emergency room department. In Italy, if you want really high quality dentistry done quickly, you go to a private dentist. Those who wish to (or can only afford to) pay less and wait for month for a root canal go to the hospital. Those in immediate pain go to the emergency room and are treated quickly.

The head of the dental department is a lady with a short stature and a huge personality. She is super fun. She sat me down in her office and said, “Why are you here?” I explained I wanted to learn from observing Italian dentists at work as I prepared to apply to dental schools. She nodded and reached into her desk, pulling out a box of cigarettes. As she started smoking, she told me the days I could come and what to expect. After she had smoked thru half of the cigarette, she threw it nonchalantly out the open window behind her. (Did I mention we were on the 7^th floor? Haha). She said, “Look, not everyone in the medical environment is gonna be a helpful and friendly to observers as me and my partner doctor are. Just be prepared and have tough skin if people are impatient with you.” She exchanged a few warm and colorful words with my accompanying italian professor and we were on our way.

I bought a white labcoat and began observations the next day. The doctors here are friendly and fun, and some love Cat Stevens' music. I have a blast with them. We have seen a lot of extractions and sutures these days. Dental floss is not really a thing in Italy. Culturally, parents just don't seem to teach their kids to floss or put emphasis on it. I have started flossing more religiously since I started observing here. But I have been very impressed with the doctors, their preparation and empathy.